Real Life. Blah.
Someone in my Bible study last night expressed the way I’ve felt for about the past six months pretty accurately. We were talking about how we think we’re pretty sure we know what God wants us to do with our lives, but those things aren’t entirely in our hands, so we have to wait.
Then someone said, “You know, I think this is a part of life that everyone goes through, but no one likes to talk about it because it’s so hard, so nobody knows how to handle it.” And I think she’s right.
Part of the reason people don’t talk about it could be because life looks super different for people who are attempting to strike out on their own. Some people leave home at 18 and work. Others wait until they graduate from college, or grad school, or maybe they never leave college. Still others get married. So life is totally different for everyone, and there’s not a one-size-fits-all answer.
When I went to college, I got all kinds of support. People encouraged me and told me what they went through and what to expect. Not to say that college was easy and I didn’t get thrown some curveballs, but for the most part, it was pretty much what I expected.
Not so anymore. Now that I’ve graduated, everyone just asks me what I’m going to do. If I tell them the truth – I’d like to get married and be a mom – they ask if I have a boyfriend. No, I say. Then they seem surprised and say something like, “Oh,” and then ask me about my job. When I say I don’t want to stay there for long, but don’t know what I want to do instead, they have an equally negative reaction.
I wish someone would have told me to expect this weird time of waiting to figure stuff out, and I wish more people would be sympathetic to my plight. I’ve met exactly one adult who’s told me she went through something similar and encouraged me. Everyone else just seems disinterested or wants to find out what my goals “really” are and are unsatisfied when I’m not really sure.
It’s not the best time of my life, especially when all the good friends I’ve had in the past several years are not going through anything similar and live far away. I know it’s kind of stupid to complain, but I think a lot of people my age are going through the disappointment of thinking grown-up life would be easy and fun only to be slammed hard by reality.
I know hard doesn’t necessarily equal bad, and I know that I just need to get settled somewhere and get out of the temporary places I’m in. I also hope I’ll learn from this.
But it’s pretty lame when you have to wait for the life you want, whether it’s something big like marriage or something small like a call about a job interview. I just wish I had been better mentally prepared.